Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
