One girl and one boy is just not enough.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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