yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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