I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
