he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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