all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
did you just send me my own nude
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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