Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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