when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
