So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
