Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
