You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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