Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
they're like a gay fantastic four
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
