help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
