Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize