I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
