Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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