# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
