You really coming over, don't trick.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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