So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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