i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
