Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
