I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
