Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
