Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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