Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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