I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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