Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
just tell him i said nine months
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize