I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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