gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
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