I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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