Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
