i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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