and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
