Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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