Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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