I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
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