...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
