i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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