i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
