Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
