So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
It's never too late to be topless.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
