So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
So here I am, sexting at work.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
