thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
