her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
