By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
