Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
