I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
