i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
