I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
