5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
