"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
