in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
