Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Someone signed my nipple.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize