My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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