I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Randomize
