So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
