woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
