just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
