i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Randomize
