I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize