what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
