after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
