During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I feel great
I just peed on a car
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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