You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
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