i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
